This article is taken from the February 2024 issue of Fraternal Review titled, “Civility and Freemasonry”.
Brother George Washington, though born into landed gentry in Virginia, did not receive the benefit of more than eight years of formal education. Washington, himself, considered this a disadvantage, making him self-conscious in the presence of those whom he considered more learned or of an elevated status in the society of the time. As he reached manhood, the military career and the moral and ethical lessons he enthusiastically imbibed as a young Freemason from his early twenties more than compensated for his lack of knowledge or formal education. But even before his coming of age, young George felt that social and personal harmony were only possible if one learned how to carry oneself with dignity and civility. We know that these qualities were so essential to his character, as evidenced by one of the few examples we have of writings penned by Washington; a little booklet he wrote as a young man, titled The Rules of Civility.
The young Washington copied these “Rules of Civility” from another book, Youth’s Behavior, Or, Decencie in Conversation Among Men, by Francis Hawkins, published in 1668. The original material for Hawkins’ book came from a 1595 French Jesuit text, Bienseance de la conversation entre les homes. Apropos for both clergy and laymen, the literate at this time were of an upper class within society and this work was primarily intended for young men of privilege. It was presented to them by their parents, mentors, or teachers to help them become pleasing, to advance, be respected, and thus influential. The chapter that caught young George’s attention was “The Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation.” The manuscript of rules that he copied down was entitled simply, “The Rules of Civility.” His original is now preserved at the Library of Congress.
The 110 rules copied down by young Washington included guidance on propriety, decorum, and civility. Whilst many of the rules of propriety and decorum could be useful to us today, in the culture of “whatever” in the contentious climate within our society in general, and sometimes also within our Lodges, I shall focus on two rules that deal with civility in handling conflicts. These I present verbatim from Hawkins, as written down by Washington, followed by a brief commentary:
Rule 86: “In Disputes, be not So Desirous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to each other to deliver his Opinion; and Submit to the Judgment of the Major Part, especially if they are Judges of the Dispute.”
Commentary: Do not be overbearing in expressing your opinion. Give each person their due. Hawkins encourages young men to bend to the majority, or to the judges of disputed issues. Here, there is no mention of youth, or of rebellious spirit, but then there is Rule 87.
Rule 87: “Let thy carriage be such as becomes a Man: Grave, Settled, and Attentive to that which is spoken. Contradict not, at every turn, what others Say.”
Commentary: As if knowing that some of a younger age may take exception to following Rule 86 to the letter, in the latter half of this Rule, Washington explains that, if you are going to be contrary, don’t make it your style just for the sake of it. If you are grave, settled, and attentive, when you do have to contradict, if well measured, it will more likely be appropriately delivered.
How better would our own business appear if Brethren of any age approached each other on the level, and with due awareness and skillful application of these two rules of civility alone?
Written by: Robert Sachs, 32o is Past Master of King David’s Lodge No. 209 in San Luis Obispo, and is the Orator of the Santa Barbara Valley of the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite.